It’s remarkable that so many women know what a man would do if he really loved you.
It’s a common mistake women make, and an even more common phrase uttered by girlfriends when relationship trouble is looming.
“Girl, if he really loved you, he would…”
Relationships would be smooth as silk if the sexes understood each other, but the fact of the matter is…
…they just don’t!
Your Expectations Disappoint You
“If he really loved you” will get you in a lot of trouble. Actually, talking with your girlfriends about men will get you in nothing but trouble. It’s pretty much a given that you’ll over-analyze whatever is happening and compare his words/actions against an emotional ideal.
That’s not good for your relationship.
He’s not Prince Charming, the rich billionaire from Pretty Woman, or whatever guy you’re crushing on from your current favorite romantic comedy. He’s just like you: someone with flaws, who makes mistakes, and who has bad days.
Your expectations are what disappoint you. No one’s love is perfect, and no one responds perfectly in every situation. Not even you.
One could even call this kind of reaction to his mistakes a failure, as well.
We Want To Be Your Hero
Women list the qualities they want in a man such as a sense of humor, ambition, intelligence, and charm. But they end up feeling dissatisfied over situations where he fails to respond “properly.”
“If he really loved you…” means he didn’t act in a way you thought he should. It means your ideal is something different from what you have. Is that his fault? Does it mean he doesn’t love you?
No, it doesn’t.
He has had different experiences than you, has his own understanding of you, and very well may be doing the best he knows how. Or he may be acting out of self-defense or ego, which we all do, and which requires YOUR understanding, too.
We are men after all.
It’s not an excuse, we just don’t think like you. We want to do the right thing. We want to be your hero.
We just don’t always know how.
Don’t let your girlfriends tell you what should happen if he really loved you. It’s a surefire way to cause more static in your relationship than is necessary.
And if you are a girlfriend doing this, do us a favor and stop it. You’re not helping.
